Getting to Know Someone - 50 neat questions

In order to be a good conversationalist you need to do a couple of things.

Listen - listen - listen     AND encourage the other person to talk.

I had heard and read about listening many times and found it difficult to actually implement.   I certainly knew that one of the most common mistakes people make in conversation is "thinking about what I am going to say next" instead of actually listening to the other person. 

I still had trouble turning give and take conversations into conversations where the other person did most of the talking.  Recently I heard a speaker (Lisa Lieberman-Wang) talk about some things that are so obvious that they are hard to see.   She gave a short list of conversational prompts that encouraged the other person to keep on talking.  This has the effect of turning a normal ping-pong - your turn - my turn discussion into one where one person did most of the talking (and the other person did most of the listening.)   Her list included such obvious gems as "You're kidding?", "They didn't?", "I can't believe they actually did that to you!", "Wow! and then what happened?"  Obvious, but my verbal habits didn't include these statements nearly often enough.

My son Mark ran into this gem tonight that carries this theme of being a good listener a step further.  Here are 50 questions you can use to help probe and learn about someone you are talking to.   http://www.humorthatworks.com/how-to/50-questions-to-get-to-know-someone/ 

You can't help someone until you know where their pain is and you can't find their pain unless they talk to you.   Isn't it strange that "good conversationalists" don't talk much?

Have a great day!
Hale
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